Funny week

I’m well behind on jotting down things that make me laugh because I’ve been too busy. Ironically, it seems that I laugh more the busier I get (possibly because I’m low on sleep) so there has been plenty to write about. To fill up ten minutes, some highlights of the last week:

Gabz talking about ‘Hub union cells’, to work out how many people are in the CU. We knew what he meant before he took ages to say it precisely!

Matt deciding that there should be a key-change for the last verse of Oh little town of Bethlehemand me not knowing until we got there. Credit to the musicians, it was executed perfectly, but it was far too cheesy for me to handle so I spent the entire verse not being able to breathe because of laughter. It didn’t help me singing, and if I do it on Thursday in the carol service I think I’ll be shot.

I was chatting with my (younger) brother about what things are like at my old (and his current) school. The new head introduced anti-bullying week, a week where – among other things – there was a graffiti wall where students could write anything. So you can now read: ‘Don’t bully, bullying’s bad’, with the witty reply: ‘your mum’! In other news, that week saw the school’s record for external expulsions, the school’s record for internal expulsions (all 12 students have to sit on their ownin Mr Lewis’s study room – does anyone see a potential problem there?) and two boys charged with ABH and GBH. Result!

David saying, “so they’re a bunch of doofi. Do you like what I did there? I pluralised ‘doofuses correctly!”

A play I saw on Saturday (Dealer’s Choice, Patrick Marber) which had the following exchange between Mugsy (a bit of a socially-awkward muppet) and Stephen:

S: Tony’s not going to be around tonight

M: Where is he?

S: In Bolton.

M: What’s he doing in Bolton? Committing suicide?

S: He’s at a funeral. His dad’s.

M: Oh. Er, what did he die of?

S: Suicide.

M: Why?

S: [Ironically] Because he lived in Bolton! Don’t be an idiot. He had a heart attack.

M: Oh dear. Er, hearts can do that, can’t they – attack. Was there much history of death in the family?

S: Yes, I believe it was a recurrent problem! What do you want?

And on it goes. To be fair, it’s probably better when performed, and also when not just written out from memory.

Plenty more funny things happened, but the memory fails. Plus, my ten minutes are up, so have a good week and keep laughing.

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